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Thursday 30 July 2015

Percy - Ana Chronicles - V: Food, Shirts and Shorts



"Percy, we have run out of food again."

"No we haven't, I bought two packets of biscuits just last yesterday."

"Exactly. Yesterday."

"Ana, did you polish off two packets of biscuits in a day?"

"I was hungry after my workout, and you were off in the country."

"On work. And I'm going to Jeffco. Can't get anything home right now."

"Ok, well, give me money, I'll go get some eggs and bread."

"There was a twenty under your laptop."

"I made change from it for using at the laundromat."

"You made twenty dollars into quarters?"

"Yes."

"Why would you do that! Who needs...eighty quarters?"

"You never like anything I do. And then if I don't do anything you say I don't do anything around the house. I put all my clothes in the laundry."

"Could have put mine too, you know."

"Oh. I can never tell if your clothes are washed or not. BECAUSE YOU NEVER BREAK A SWEAT WHILE MY CLOTHES ARE ALL HORRIBLE AND SWEATY."

"That's because you spend three hours a day in the gym and two more running and cycling around."

"The point is that I don't have any clothes to wear. So I will wear yours for a few days."

"You won't fit in mine...hang on, isn't that my t-shirt you're wearing right now?"

"Maaaaaaaybe."

"What have you done to it?!"

"I just cut the sleeves and tied the..."

"You've ruined it!"

"Have not!"

"I can't wear it now!"

"Doesn't it look better on me anyway?"

"That...is...true, but it's not the point!"

"There's no pleasing you. I'm going to get some food. I had a hundred, didn't I? Where's it gone?"

"How would I know? Was in your pocket last night."

"Ooooh."

"Ooooh?"

"Would be in the laundry now then, with the shorts I was wearing. Give me your credit card."

~later~

"Ana, I'm hungry. Where's the stuff you got?"

"Oh, maaaaaaybe I didn't go."

"But...you took my credit card and all..."

"Check out these cut-off shorts! Don't I look nice?"

"Did you use my card to buy clothes?"

"I also bought you new jeans to go with your black t-shirt."

"Ana, you just mutilated my black t-shirt. You're wearing it right now!"

"Oh. Yes, so I am. Well, let's go get you a new one AND get some food."

"Fine, where's my credit card?"

"I think...it would be in the laundry, I just put the old shorts in the washing machine when I put the first lot in the dryer, and I was wearing these snazzy new shorts, and..."

"So we just starve, then?"

"Such a drama queen you are."

"Who, me? Oh please, look in the mirror!"

"And take a selfie? Good idea!"


"Ana, that's not what I...oh what the hell!"


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